Why Are We All Going Through This Alone?

This sixth edition of Featured Advocates Month blog posts is written by Haley Forgacs. Haley is a third year student studying English and History at Queen’s University, and is a volunteer for Step Above Stigma.

Mental illness has never been an entirely foreign concept to me. I grew up with family members
and friends who suffer from mental illnesses such as anxiety, OCD and schizophrenia. From a
fairly young age I had an awareness and a somewhat normalized idea of mental illness. I
believed that I had a decent understanding of what mental illness is and how it affects the mind
and body. It wasn’t until I suffered from depression myself that I realized how little I really knew
about mental health and the pervasive stigma around mental illness. I realized that no matter
how much you read about mental illness and no matter how many people around you have
experienced it, you will never be able to fully comprehend the all-encompassing nature of
mental illness until you experience it for yourself. Though my depression had begun chipping
away at me months earlier, it wasn’t until this past winter that I experienced it to a debilitating
degree. I struggled to get out of bed in the mornings and stopped eating all together. I couldn’t
concentrate on my classes or my readings and quickly fell behind. Despite my familiarity with
mental illness, I wasn’t able recognize or identify the warning signs that my own mental health
was slipping.

Mental health pertains to everyone, regardless of whether you are predisposed to mental
illness or not. Each one of us has a responsibility to take care of ourselves and be aware of our
limits. I think that removing the stigma around mental illness starts with a more open
conversation of mental wellness in general. How can we possibly recognize signs that our
mental health is slipping if we don’t discuss what mental health and mental wellbeing really
are? Changes in sleep and appetite, a loss of energy and focus, and even unexplained physical
aches and pains are all indications that you have to revaluate your mental wellness and make
adjustments to your lifestyle. If we start talking openly about our mental wellbeing, I believe an
open conversation around mental illness will follow. I’ve been a student at Queen’s for two
years now and many of the friends I’ve met have experienced some sort of mental health
problem in their lives or know of someone who has. There’ve been times when the people I
least expected have confessed to me their own experience with mental illness, which led me to
wonder: why are we all going through this alone? According to Statistics Canada, it is estimated
that 1 in 5 Canadians suffer from a mental health problem or illness. By the age of 40,
approximately 50% of the population will have been directly affected by mental illness. Despite
these numbers, stigma still prevails regarding mental health and seeking help. It’s ironic that
while so many feel they are alone in their fight for mental wellness, a significant number of the
population are experiencing the same thing to varying degrees.

An estimated 15.5% of Canadians suffer from fractured bones a year, while 17.8% suffer from
mental illness. Yet, nobody denies that a broken bone is in need of medical attention. People
with broken bones typically don’t try to hide it from the people around them out of fear of
being judged. Nobody calls a person using crutches ‘lazy’ or tells them to simply get over it. If
we truly want to eradicate the stigma around mental illness, we need to have more truthful and
unbridled conversations. Ultimately, we need to make a conscious effort to check in with
ourselves and with those around us. The more we openly discuss our experiences, the more
people will be aware of their own mental health and feel permission to ask for help when
needed.
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